We live in a culture that currently uses phrases like “homes are for living and not for display”, “living off of chaos and caffeine”, “hot mess mom”, and countless others in an attempt to normalize chaos. In an effort to make moms feel less alone in their messy home and toddler tantrums we have instead begun to idolize overwhelm. It has morphed into many of us holding ourselves to a lower standard than we should because we often just accept that “I guess this is just the way it is supposed to be”. When it’s all we see in our newsfeed and all we hear in our conversations with other moms, we begin to believe that it would be unreasonable to hold ourselves to a higher standard.
I’m going to challenge that thought for you. What if we did begin to hold ourselves to a higher standard? What if we let go of the fear of being judged for not being “relatable”? What if instead of believing that our efforts are all useless with toddlers around, we instead believe that we are modeling important behaviors for them that will reap benefits down the road? As long as we are not basing our intrinsic value as a mom/wife/human on the cleanliness of our floors, then there is nothing wrong with choosing to unsubscribe from the cultural norm of chaos. In fact, there is SO much good that can be found.
I’m not talking about perfection – not at all. I’m talking about routines, systems, and expectations that set us up on a daily basis with time to accomplish basic tasks, time for play, time to handle tantrums, time to rest, and time to connect. I don’t know about you, but for me to feel peaceful and be able to function at my best I need a fairly peaceful environment. Frustration is a byproduct of when expectations don’t meet reality – that goes for myself, my spouse, and my toddlers.
Without routines and systems that promote peace by happening in a predictable and consistent manner, our whole house spirals into chaos. I can guarantee you that if I see piles of laundry on my couch, my son’s cars all over the living room floor, colored pencils all over the playroom and dishes piled high in the sink at the moment that my 2 year old is throwing an absolute fit about a blueberry that he dropped I will have MUCH less compassion and space in my brain and heart to properly handle his emotions. Our environment at home can either set us up for success or it can add to us feeling out of control and unable to rest.
I feel like home runs on a similar premise to Newton’s first law of motion – but in the home it goes a little something like “a home riddled with chaos and overwhelm promotes more chaos and overwhelm, and a home filled with efficiency and peace promotes more efficiency and peace”.
I challenge you to let go of what the current mom culture wants you to think about what’s possible in your home. Do you actually like living drowning in laundry, toys covering every inch of the floor, and feeling like you never have enough time to get anything done? I’m guessing not. So first – sit on this question and prayerfully consider it for a day or so – “If I could tackle just one aspect of my home that is causing me overwhelm, what would that be?”
I’d love for you to share yours in the comments below. I’ll talk soon about simple systems that are working for my family that take only 5-20 minutes a day to help provide ideas for you.
Until next time,
Hope
Mine would be going through stuff to sell/donate or throw away that we don’t need anymore but is causing too much clutter and overwhelm.
If it’s a “thing” it’s probably the amount of toys- my kids are in the ages of legos and all the tiny pieces that go with their barn and stable play. I’m using this upcoming move to reset and get rid of and get down to what is necessary with it all